and now, some deep thoughts.... by jenn hippe

here it is, early morning.

clear, cold february morning.

the boy is still asleep at 7:57 am, a small miracle.
i have had my coffee & done my finances for the week.
i get to go shopping later today for some things we've been needing.
the house is clean & most of the laundry is done.
the weekend is almost here.
all is right with the world.

looking at my blog and, as i read back through the posts i am struck by a thought.
a deep thought.
remember that old SNL skit?
i do.
and i laugh at myself.


and so, here's to onward & upward, being happy every day and to deep thoughts.

Breakfast with Lars...

   Had  a loverly breakfast with my boy this morning. At his behest I joined him at his "yittol tay-vul".(little table in lars-speak) so sweet! I put together a little space for him after we took the tree down. the cupboard behind the little bookshelf is his secret spot.  oh yeah.... That funnel? One of Sams friends put in on her head once and that was all it took, the "party hat" was born. It has been a hat, a megaphone, a great bath toy, a basket... basically just a wonderful open ended toy. It is one of his all time favorites.

Also today, we have cousin in the house. These two are such buddies. People always think they are twins. They play, they fight, they laugh & be silly. They have the cutest love/hate relationship. It's probably as close as Lars will get to a sibling relationship seeing as how Sami is 14 years older than him.  Was dreading having TWO high speed littles at the same time but it's been a blast. I joined them for lunch and we all took turns reading books out loud. I haven't enjoyed lunch with kids that much in a long time. These are the  times that make all the other times worth it. 

aaaaaaaaaand, we're back.

so yeah, i've been gone.
 i had so much going on i had nothing to talk about. or was it that i had no time to talk about it? well, at any rate, i'm back. for today at least. right now, i'm gearing up for our second annual  winter camp getaway. it's this weekend & i wanted to make something fun for the girls. i've been trying to think of something & this morning i saw some really fun "scrap books", little hand bound notebooks made from scraps of scrapbook papers. wow. that's a lot of scraps. anywho, i got hungy whilst brain-storming and made myself THE yummiest cheese crisp ever. here's how i did it...
    throw a tortilla in a frying pan over med high heat.... slather some minced garlic right into the tortilla, a little salt, a sprinkle of cheese (i used marble jack), then fresh spinach & salsa verde... cover & cook till the tortilla is crisp, the cheese is melted & the spinach is wilty. i served it up, to myself, with a little dollop of sour cream. so good! if you wanted to kick it up a notch you could add some artichoke hearts or jalepenos. or both.  mmmmmmmm.

iv'e got lots more to share... see you around!

balance?

i had a revelation today.
a staggering epiphany as it were.

    i was sitting downstairs when i looked at the clock and saw it was 8:30. hmmmmmm, lars is usually up by 8:30... maybe i just didn't hear him.
    and this is where my hands go all cold and get clammy. and i get that funny tight feeling around my heart & my stomach drops out... no. i'm sure he's fine. i get up to go check. {deep breaths.} composing myself as i fake a calm i don't feel. the agony of the question... what if he's not? ungh. be strong. he is. he's fine, it's ok.... but....?
and that was when it hit me. i stopped right there on the stairs.

                        i realized just exactly why it is that i worry.

                 i worry so that bad things don't happen *unexpectedly*.

    bad things happen. you can't avoid that. like a snake in the grass, they spring out at you. but, if you familiarize yourself with the snakes habits & habitats, this knowledge is power and it follows that, armed with this knowledge, one can at least avoid the shock of surprise.... right?
    like cosmic reverse psychology... if i expect the worst & anything better than *that* happens? well then i am free to be gloriously giddy and happy about life in general. well, all except for those horrifying & crippling moments that is.
    now, i've always been a worry-er and had accepted it as part of my nature. but my definition of "bad things" expanded by exponential proportions after charlotte died.
    before, bad things were getting a ticket, losing my wallet or rain on my day off. after, things were much different... darker & scarier. bad things now are terrible car accidents, losing my family & my home, my young son choking or falling, getting terribly and irrevocably hurt, my teenage daughter committing suicide or running away, incurable diseases.... terrible, terrifyingly vivid things that come, unbidden, in an instant and leave me shaken.

 obviously this is a flawed system. i definitely need to mull over these new insights.... seems some balance is in order.

 for mothers day this year my little family honored me with some wonderful gifts... gifts that are so much more than the object they physically are. sami gave me time spent laughing together (which is so important to a mother of  a teenaged girl), almost an hour of distracting the the brother at the greenhouse so i could perambulate & browse & choose some new lovelies for my garden AND one of her wonderful heart/spirit paintings. josh presented me with my very own and oft longed for serger machine... and time to putter in the garden in peace. all so very important things in a mothers life. the tools of my trade really... flowers and plants to beautify our outdoor spaces, art for the indoors, a useful tool to beautify my house and hopefully our bodies with lovingly made fun things from the studio... and the peace of mind and spirit to enjoy it all!

on knitting....

i am always struck by the same-ness of it.

knit, knit, knit, knit, knit, knit, knit...
pushing, turning, pulling & pushing again.
the cadence sooths and comforts.
the timeless, ancient monotony of the movements.

i find camaraderie in doing the work.

it's like looking into a mirror, from a mirror.

you can see the one before...
and the one before her.

an unbroken thread back through time connecting every maker.
stitch by stitch we weave the fabric that encompasses our lives, our families.

the millions of stitches i will make in my life.
the fabric i will create.

sturdy fabric for duty.
solid stitches parked tightly one next to another... little guardians against the cold of the prairie.

wisps of lace for pleasure, the airy stitches begetting a lofty cloud of comfort and luxury.

scarves, hats, mittens, slippers, shawls, throws...
tiny little bits for babies and big, long scarves for uncles.
toys and baubles, adornments and accouterments.
fabric to clothe, decorate and delight.

for my mom

‘You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.’

CHINESE PROVERB

i love you.

i miss you.

i wish it could be different.

keep your hair free of nests ok?

scrapbooking.... visual journaling

 Awhile ago a friend said to me "why do you do this hobby? i think it's a ridiculous thing to do... i mean, i guess it's great that you like to do it and all but i don't get it."

and this really got me thinking. why DO i scrapbook? the thought knocked around in my head all winter  without coming to a truly satisfying answer. now, i haven't done any scrapbooking all season... i've been too busy to make time to do something i was questioning. today, though, the urge hit me. i got out my books & was flipping through the pages, trying to "see where i was" when i realized just why it is that i do this. gratitude. i know it might sound strange but, for me, it's all about gratitude. i tend to lose sight of exactly how amazingly wonderful my life is if i'm not reminded to be grateful. as i looked back over the photos & read the journaling i just felt a wave of sweet, warm calm wash over me. this is my life. it is wonderful! all those little moments captured... things that i definitely would've forgotten, like lars running around with the wii remote just laughing his head off. or when we dyed sami's hair red & it was SOOOO cool. the light in any given season. the unknown blaze orange flower in the garden. chives. tricycles. cousins. cookies. rainstorms. bbqs.  little things like that. we always remember the big stuff... but i think it's the day to day things that really help remind us that life is good all the time, even when it's hard or dreary or boring.  so that is why i scrapbook... to hold the gratitude for a wonderful life in my hands & say "look. it is good."

a love letter....

springtime, oh springtime how do i love thee? let me count the ways...

     i love you in the early morning when the air still holds the chill of the night, the dew stands like jewels on the grass & i hear the song of the mourning dove coming in through my long closed window, now open to the sweet, fresh air.

     i love you in the morning when i go out to survey the days work in the gardens, reveling in just being out of doors. the quiet moments watching the steam rise lazily from my mug of morning coffee.

     i love you in the mid morning when sun comes in at the east window reflecting through the crystals i hung there and scattering a multitude of tiny rainbows everywhere, reminding me of the possibilities of each glorious day.

     i love you in the daytime with the golden sun warming the soil, releasing its heady scent, full of the promise of summer flowers. or, on a grey day, when the rain falls gently and melodically like a lullaby sung to a fretting baby.

     i love you in the afternoon when my young son and i can escape to the backyard & have adventures of all sorts and his delight at all the wondrous things the new season brings for him to discover.

     i love you in the mid afternoon as i go for a stroll, unencumbered by the trappings of winter wear, enjoying the first buds & blooms of the year. or, perhaps, as i steal a lazy moment or two in the hammock under the tree, staring up through the branches now dressed in green.

     i love you in the early evening as the laughter of children & the relaxing drone of lawnmowers fill the golden air, me ever trying to resist the temptation to flop down on my voluminous comforter and float away in a nap.

     i love you in all your guises... warm, cold, wet, dry, muddy, loamy, green, sunny and grey. i love your ever changing moods & the promises you whisper. my dear springtime, i long to revel in the joys you bring!  please come soon or i feel i shall go mad for want of your sweet presence...



time flies!

wow! it has been a long time since i blogged!

here's *some* of what i've been up to...

* knitting and more knitting! i think i've knitted more things this winter than i ever have all total! plus i've learned alot of new techniques. 

* been doing alot of beading too. made quite a few new necklaces.

* slowly but surely making headway on the quilt for sami (almost halfway done with the hand quilting!)

* finished up my december daily album... what a fun thing to do!

* will be turning in some work for a juried gallery exhibit...i've been agonizing over the selections for that!

* met some great people & made new friends! yay!

* working on some more of my fun little altered boxes. (no pics yet...sorry!)

* followed up a connection to a wonderful little boutique down in the cities called the linden tree... i'll be bringing some of my things down there to sell in the next month of so. lots of product development goin on there! i'm pretty excited about it!

* oh yeah & josh & i finally set a date so i am planning our wedding too! yay! been doing alot of graphic design work on my save the dates. oh and research on flowers & decorations & everything else that goes into a wedding. we are having a small wedding so it's all going to be handmade. can't wait!





it's gonna be a busy & exciting year!

homemade decorating! (or what to do on a snowy day)

 

*spicy hot cocoa of my own recipe topped with homemade cinnamon whipped cream & sprinkled with cayenne pepper & nutmeg! mmmmmm!

    it's snowing today. big wet flakes started this morning & have fallen all day in varying intensities. the christmas music is playing and i have been trying to decide what to do about my tree situation. this year when i started thinking about my christmas decorations i was contemplating doing something a little different. i had seen some wonderful decorations, consisting mostly of greenery with some low key ribbon and eucalyptus tucked in here and there, candles in plain glass jars &  sturdy garden cloches full of a single color of pretty glass balls... i really liked the almost rustic simplicity of the look. and when josh reminded me that we have a frisky kitten as well as a two year old, the thought of putting up the 6 foot tree with all those breakable ornaments was just intolerable to me.                 

                so.....  i decided to do a charlie brown or maybe a topiary type tree this year. and for the sake of still having some lovely decorations, i'm thinking paper (and maybe some felt?) ornaments in white & kraft, white twinkle lights, cinnamon scented pinecones. i bombed out at the store looking for a tree in the size and shape i was after, so back to the drawing board i went with that. then, today, i found this one today and got inspired!  so... i made a tree this afternoon! ta da! lol

 it still needs some finishing touches..(aka greenery!) and to get all dressed up but i'm happy with the shape & size of it so far! i took pics of the process and put them up in my picasa gallery. don't know if it will continue to live in that pot or if i will get a chunk of wood drilled for a base?  hmmmmmm. anyways, after all that, i set out on an online fact finding mission to find some fun & beautiful patterns for paper ornaments. here's some of the great links i found....

.......on the wonderful design blog howaboutorange.blogspot.com i found these delightfully

       modern yet elegant ornaments... she also has a bunch of great links for paper ornaments!

.......found a tutorial for an amazing lacy (and easy!) star here 

.......your basic puffed star template & instructions here

.......template for dodecahedron that makes a beautiful ornament here

.......hp.com also has quite a few ornament projects here

moonlight on the snow

      i have this friend.... and she loves winter. and i mean loves! she always talks about how beautiful it is & how she can't wait & how excited she is at the prospect of it. i know, it's crazy right?! but, when everyone else is bemoaning the snow & bluster & ice & cold.... she is giddy and perfectly happy in the purest way usually reserved for small children. her enthusiasm is catching and i have found within myself a deep, abiding love for the season that must have always been there just waiting to be recognized.
the thrill of that first whiff of snow on the cold air.
the excitement of the first flakes coming down.
the beauty of an unspoiled expanse of white.
the coziness of snow days, all tucked up nice and safe and warm in your own little home while the wind howls outside your door.
the extraordinarily brisk feeling of being really alive you get when you've been out in the cold and you come in, stomping the snow off your feet & sniffing against the tingle in your nose.
the comfort of warm food.
the magical wonderment of a still, moonlit winters night.
      and that's what hit me last night. as darkness fell, the moon rose & cast it's ethereal glow over the world.  the snow & ice glittered in the cold stillness of the night, the bare trees standing in silhouette against the orange glow in the sky where a small bank of clouds hovered just over the lights of our tiny town. the swatches of pale moonlight coming in at the windows and lighting the house in a way unusual and yet somehow familiar. a hidden world of wonder that most are unaware of... or asleep for. a world almost lost amidst modern conveniences and the strain of growing up.  and last night as i stood in my dark, warm house looking out at the beauty that lay before me i felt that childlike sense of wonder and delight.... it's something you realize you've lost somewhere along the way only when you see someone else with it. and i sent out a silent thank you to my friend.

terrible twos....

    ya know i guess i just never really realized how much time a two year old takes up! he is so thirsty for knowledge and experiences that i barely have a moment to call my own these days...or for any of the days this summer... or fall for that matter.

    after my success early this year with overcoming my self doubt & just seizing the day i was ready and willing to go forward in a hurry. i had so many plans for things i was going to get accomplished and really got caught up in trying to get it done. i felt that after years (...and years, if i'm honest) of my close people telling me to go for it, i finally did and it was wonderful! i had found the outlet & the desire & the gumption i had always been lacking. and then... i found myself feeling so much frustration at having found all of those long sought things and then dealing with the demands of a two year old.  in desperation i instituted a tradition of walks at our local state park, which is luckily only a few miles south of town.  initially these walks were to wear him out so he would nap for me so i could get things done.

 but in the course of going on these outings with my little guy, who loves to wear his own backpack and run most of the way, i discovered that the walks were healing my frustrations.

 i saw the trails through his eyes. 

the fascinating colors of fall, the sounds of the birds, the mystery of the wind in the trees and the prairie grasses...that little gasp and then, "wissen!" he says with his little hand up to his ear.

 the occasional snake, buzzing bee or prairiedog whose paths we crossed,

 the flowers & plants he pointed out to me.

 his interest in the trail signs and informational markers..."wat say mimi?" he asks at every one.

my admiration of his boy-ness when he bites the dust and gets a skinned knee but doesn't care

& of his bravery when he conquers his fears and jumps off the end of the bench at the council ring. 

 his absolute delight the day we saw the garbage truck driving through the park from the far side of the lake and he ran all the way up the hill calling "garbage truck?!" and was rewarded on the other side by getting to see the big, grumbly truck drop its fork arms and lift the big dumpster over its cab and dump! into the hopper. in all these things i realized that my aspirations had time to come to fruition but this time... this tiny span of time in my life when i get to experience this amazing thing, is just that. a tiny span of time, a window into the wondrous nature of life at two years old.

 it'll be over before i know it & it'll never happen again. my knitting and sewing and all those things can wait but this won't. it's challenging to remember that when he's screamin his head off acting like a banshee but i'm gonna give it my all!  three cheers for the "terrible" twos!!!!

on dealing with some people...

while washing up the last of the dishes today i realized i had forgotten to wash the knives. after a pause, i ran an inch or so of nice hot water into the sink with a tiny squirt of soap and put all the knives in to soak.  now, i NEVER put my knives in the sink...while they are dirty they are on the counter behind the sink and when i wash them i do so one at a time. i'm a bit of a clutz and it's just safer for me that way. but there were alot of them and they were sticky so i did it. point is, for me, it was an out of the ordinary thing to do and they say that doing out of your ordinary things helps build neural pathways in your brain. so... as i was standing there, giving the hot, soapy water some time to do its work before i started scrubbing, my mind began to wander a bit and  i considered just leaving the knives to wash when i got back from running my daughter over to her friends house. then my brain gave me some wonderful examples of why it was a bad idea, most of which involved some unsuspecting (or clutzy) person reaching in and drawing back a bloody hand.  now of course, intellectually, i know that i would probably remember the knives were in there and that if something heinous did happen on my 10 minute trip to drop off my daughter, and someone else was left to deal with the knives, the water would at that point no longer be soapy thereby resulting in them being able to see the fact that there were knives in the sink and disaster would be averted.  ( i know, i know... but this is how my brain works so bear with me) so anyways, i decide to just stay and wash them and while i'm standing there looking at the bubbles i have an epiphany....  dealing with some people is like reaching blindly into a soapy sink full of knives.  you can be careful and most of the time you'll emerge unscathed but there's always gonna be that once. that one time you reach in and get cut. and you have to wonder (or i do anyway) is it worth it? why would i NOT do what i know is good for me and just not even go there... to the metaphorical sink full of dangerous sharp edges hidden amongst the innocuous mounds of rainbow tinged bubbles?  hmmmmmmm.

summer always goes so fast!

and it was no exception this year... albeit it's not quite over but we're getting really close. i have noticed the early signs..... you know? the trees that look a little yellow (maybe we just didn't get enough rain this year) that subtle crispness behind the breeze at dusk... the cool mornings.  not to mention the back to school sales at every store. technically we still have 2 1/2 weeks left... school starts on the 7th this year but i feel the inevitability of the end of summer. not that i really have any amount of love for the heat & fuss of summer. and not that it hasn't been a great season....i have actually had a very exciting summer.  after i posted my last post on 23 june i turned my things in to the art gallery, entered a photo contest, took first place in one category of the photo contest, was written up in the local paper for winning said contest, got accepted as a galleried artist at the PRCA, found a friendship that i didn't know i had, started actually losing weight after years of feeling stuck this way, sold four of my pieces at the gallery, had a breakthrough in my relationship with my 16 year old daughter, pulled off two birthday parties & a brunch {at which i made cream puffs & chocolate pudding from scratch & josh's grandma from france said i did a good job! talk about swelling my head lol}  & i enjoyed watching my 2 year old son experience his world & develop his personality.  whew!   but it all boils down to this one moment back in june, sitting in front of the computer feeling anxious about my life & my path & my self.... i ran across a quote that struck me and  i took it into my heart & it settled down into that place where your "certain something" sprouts from... and boy did it ever blossom for me!  and so i leave you with these words that have so affected me...

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
                      Boldness has Genius, Power, and Magic in it.
 Begin it now."   
                                                - johann wolfgang von goethe

ready?

ok....

today's the day.
after two weeks of preparation.
                          
a representative collection of my work?  
- check.
freshly designed tags & labeling scheme? 
- check.
photos taken & descriptions written?   
- check.
website up, running & ready to go?
- check.
guts?
-...
uuuuum, guts?  {oh, there you are! get out here, let's go!}

{ready? ok.}

now...
guts?
- check.

just dropping in....

*my little grubby one

well.

i've been super busy with work & family & other work & creating & gardening & just living life.  

i've been meaning to blog...really i have. buuuuut. i haven't.

today however, i do have a few little tidbits to share:

*i have made a new page here on my blog to house all my links to cool stuff. you can find the link to your right, listed under pages as "worth checking out". i think that says it all! :)

*i have been making stuff...

*i have been gardening...{and photographing!}

*this one was taken 06.01

oh yeah, and sometime in the next two weeks i will be submitting some of my work to a local artists co-op/gallery for admission.

i'm terrified. but in a good way.

three cheers for spring!

got busy yesterday setting up seed trays with my new-found paper pot making knowledge.


i decided to do a tray of the can method & a tray of the origami method to see which ones perform better.
the origami ones feel nice & sturdy and fit better into the tray but the rolled ones made with the can are much faster & easier to make. so we'll see! :)






















some of my irises that finally bloomed this year. there are lots to come! for the last couple years i only got a bloom or two so i am really excited this year to see so many buds coming up. these particular ones are some my mom sent me years ago from washington state.











a little fledgling robin just learning to fly, taking a rest in the warm grass by the fountain outside my window. he let me get so close. i {heart} spring!

sustanable origami....lol

so i ran across something on the internet & thought it was rather interesting. it was a picture of some very happy little seedlings in a sunny window safely ensconced in happy little pots made of what appeared to be newspaper.....   hmmm.
so off i went to see what i could find.

there's this method.... which requires a little tool.  cool.

there's this method...which just uses a can. sweet!       cool *and* easy.

and then there's this method... which *i* personally think is the way to go. one video was labeled "sustainable origami pots"...i love it!

but then i am an origami lover. actual origami where you sit down with a piece of paper & create something by making all those folds. they say that if you fold a thousand paper cranes you will be granted a wish. now i don't know about that, unless your wish is for resolve & tranquility, but i do know that it is therapeutic...really it is. and it's a wonderful resource... this last winter i "origami-ed" a replacement envelope for a bill with a piece of junk mail from my car. and voila! my check was safely tucked in with no danger of becoming separated from the bill it was meant to pay whilst floating around in the nether regions of the payment dropbox. (now *that* is peace of mind!) and it's handy. i learned how to fold a box with dividers & a lid & i make them now for all kinds of things. storage & drawer dividers & gift boxes. oh my!  children (and some adults) are thoroughly fascinated when, at a restaurant, you turn your placemat into something for them to play with...a paper balloon perhaps? how bout a jumping frog? a crown...or maybe just the old stand-by, the paper crane. you could get really fancy too like this rose . ...or this lotus.  
the list could go on & on....lol

and... it's pretty to look at once you've done all the work of folding it.

i turned some origami cranes, some 3D cutwork & a handful of german paper stars (some of which i made of overhead transparency sheets) into a wonderful mobile for my baby nursery.

so anyways, to sum it all up....origami is cool and practical and fun!

go learn some here ---->  go.foldsomething.com <----

well.... go fold something!!!
go on....shoo!  :)

something new!

ok, so....

i have my very own website! {ta-da!}
www.wix.com/skred76/jenniferhope

i found this really cool program called wix where you can build your own site visually, like a collage! and i just got carried away. so now i have an entire website devoted to all things jenn! 

i know, i know....it does seem a bit narcissistic but it's meant to be a sort of expanded business card / get to know the artist type of thing.

i am just a girl/mom/wife/daughter who only happens to be in her thirties (and, incidentally, realized the other day that in a few short years, ready or not, she would actually be in her forties. yikes.)  who has a crazy real life... a life that is a woefully disordered  and wondrously charmed melee of experiences... so i thought i'd share! anyways....  i digress.

so!

this is me shamelessly plugging my website...{oh and my blog...and my etsy shop...}